Phineas and Ferb: Super Random Awesome Show!
by irken24
Summary: 2 years ago, I wrote this series. Might as well get back to it! Send me your dares, questions, and randomness, and see what happens to the Phineas and Ferb cast! Rated T to be safe, but mostly K plus.
1. Chapter 1: Let the Craziness Begin!

**This is the first version of my Super Random Awesome Show series. This part is pretty short, but others won't be. Enjoy!**

Hello. I am Xeke Zajczeraj. This is not a talk show. This...is the Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show.

(theme song plays)

In Super Random Awesome Show, there are three main points: Super Random Awesome Talk, Super Random Awesome Dare, and Super Random Awesome Sponsor. Today's Super Random Awesome Sponsor is Milk Tooth by irken24. Loving child or evil creature? You decide. Not really. Read it!

Let's start today's episode by introducing our guests, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Candace, and Bobble Head Perry the Platypus.

On second thought, let's just cut to the Super Random Awesome Talk. In Super Random Awesome Talk, the guests are all asked questions in which they must answer, or they will suffer a punishment that is so random, I cannot tell for sure what it will be. Now enough of the chit-chat, let's begin.

First question goes to Phineas.

Phineas- Um, since this is the first episode, shouldn't there be no questions?

Xeke- We have ways...

Phineas- Um, okay?

Xeke- Anyway, your question is... buzz. Wow. Is it time already? Oh well. See you next time on Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show!

Phineas- Wait - that's it?

Xeke- Sorry, but I have to get my car back from the body shop.

Phineas- Well I'll be darned.

**Hope you enjoyed! If you want to send in a question or dare, or ask for your story to be a Super Random Awesome Sponsor, put it in your review. P.S. Xeke Zajczeraj is pronounced "Zeke Zai-che-raj"**


	2. Chapter 2: Announcements and then some!

Xeke- Since irken24 didn't get many reviews last week for the SRAS premiere, (mainly because of a LAME first chapter) this episode of Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show is delayed until more reviews come in.

All- Aw, man!

Xeke- Instead, irken24 asked me to give you announcements.

All- Announcements?

Xeke- Yeah, first- (gets cut off)

All- Announcements, announcements, announcements! A terrible death to die, (clap, clap) a terrible death to die, (clap, clap) a terrible death to die to death, a terrible death do die! (clap, clap) Speak ol' freak!

Xeke- I'm not old, I'm- (gets cut off)

Phineas and Isabella- We sold our cow, we sold our cow, we have no need, for your bull now.

All- Moo!

Xeke- Now, that's not very- (gets cut off)

Phineas, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz- Have you eeeeeever seen a windbag, a windbag, a windbag? Have you eeeeeever seen a wind bag? Look there's one right now! (point at Xeke)

Xeke- Hey!

Phineas, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz- (swaying)Goes this way and that way and this way and that way!

Phineas, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz- Have you eeeeeever seen a windbag? Look, there's one right now! (point at Xeke)

All- Speak ol' freak!

Xeke- Please stop right-(gets cut off)

All- Words of wisdom, words of wisdom. Here they come! Here they come!

All- Many words of wisdom, many words of wisdom. Dum, dum, Dum! Dum, dum, Dum!

Xeke- You're the ones that are-(gets cut off)

All- Speak ol' freak!

(awkward silence)

Xeke- Well, after that **offensive** song, I think we're ready to begin.

All- Hooray!

Xeke- First off, irken24 is starting a brand new SRAS fanon, this one for Invader Zim!

Phineas- Boo!

Xeke- Whatever. Anyway, he/she is also writing a crossover story for Phineas and Ferb and Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil!

Doofenshmirtz- Click Mc Who what?

Xeke- Kick Buttowski!

Doofenshmirtz- Right. Kiss Buttchompee.

Xeke- Kick...

Doofenshmirtz- Krink...

Xeke- Anyway, the story will be called "Laws of Awesome, " and Chapter One is nearing completion.

Xeke- Also, Invader Gilly's hilarious fanon, Doomy Sports, will be getting a spinoff named Doomy Sports Recap.

Isabella- Great! Who's writing it?

Xeke- irken24, who else?

Isabella- Invader Gilly?

Xeke- Moving on. Other fanons irken24 is writing are Blast from the Past, a post-apocalyptic PaF story, Sky Knight, a PaF superhero story, and Epic Fail, a series of terrible stories based on PaF. It may also expand into an Invader Zim version, and and a Kick Buttowski version.

Doofenshmirtz- Again with Kronk Bittensei?

Xeke- And finally, Milk Tooth fans beware, Chapter Ten is still not finished yet.

Ferb- Crud. I love that story.

Phineas- 'Cause we're in it?

Ferb- No, because you get repeatedly eaten by monsters!

Xeke- Speaking of Milk Tooth, Chapter Twelve will introduce a new OC, and we need your help naming him/her! Name choices are Snide, Whip, Shade, and Marrow.

Doofenshmirtz- I think that all those names are stupid, and he/she needs something better.

Xeke- You can choose that, too!

Xeke- Well, that's all the announcements!

All- Announcements?

Xeke- Oh, not again!

**No extras for you!**


	3. Chapter 3: Hint: Phineas gets NAILED!

**Finally, I'm back from hiatus! This is probably my best chapter yet, so if you hate it...MACHETE! Anyways, on with the random!**

Note: All characters belong to their respective owners. This chapter rated K+ for obvious reasons.

Hello, I am Xeke Zajczeraj. This is not a talk show. This...is Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show!

(SRAS theme song plays)

Xeke: We finally have enough reviews for a real second episode!

All: Yay!

Xeke: First up is the Super Random Awesome Sponsor. Unfortunately, no one's reviews asked for sponsorship. So, I will just pick one I like.

Phineas: Cue Jeopardy music!

(Jeopardy! music plays)

Xeke: Aha! Today's Super Random Awesome Sponsor is "Not the Only Ones" by ktag! Three groups of twins. Three kids. One goal. Save the world...and look good doing it. Read and review! Please! Think of the children!

All: 0.o

Xeke: Anyways, time for our Super Random Awesome Talk! First question is from ktag.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, boy. What horror could come from him/her?

Xeke: Ummmmm, questions for Isabella?

Isabella: Yay me!

Xeke: But first, I need Phineas to close his eyes.

Phineas: Ok?

Xeke: And stick your fingers in your ears.

Phineas: Okee dokee then...

Xeke: Now go, "La la la la la la la la la la!"

Phineas: Well, okay. La la la la la la la la la la!

Xeke: Not cool enough! Into the broom closet!

Phineas: (walking into broom closet) La la la la la la la la la la!

(Xeke closes door and locks it.)

Xeke: Now then, Isabella.

Isabella: (Worried) Y-yes?

Xeke- ktag asks, "How much do you love Phineas? What do you want your first date to be?"

Isabella- I love him beyond anything I've ever loved before!

Baljeet- Nooooooooooooo!

Xeke- 0.o

Isabella- As for the first date, I would enjoy a picnic in the park.

Xeke- Sounds cheesy.

Isabella- This coming from a talk show host who's never had a girlfriend in his life.

Xeke: Hey! That's personal! /) _(\

Isabella: I just owned you!

Xeke- I'm gonna kill you! (grabs chainsaw)

All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Please Stand By - Shows a picture of an AK-47)

Xeke: And were back!

Phineas: And I'm still locked in the broom closet!

Xeke: Next questions are from buddygirl1004.

Buford: Wow, never heard of her.

Xeke: _You_ never read fan fiction.

Buford: Hey! That's personal! /) _(\

Xeke: Ownage!

Buford: I'm gonna kill you! (grabs machete)

All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Please Stand By - Shows a picture of a smiley face)

Xeke: We're back with the questions!

Phineas: I finally got out of the broom closet!

Xeke: What? (Knocks Phineas unconscious)

Phineas: Unnngh...

Xeke: Super Random Awesome Dare! buddygirl1004 wants Isabella to, let's see, make out with Phineas!

Isabella: Yes! YES! **YES!**

Xeke: Unfortunately, he is unconscious so... you have to do it to this plush version.

Isabella: Wait...what?

Xeke: Just do it!

Isabella: Fine. (Does...well, you know)

Suzy: That's kind of disturbing.

Jeremy: And creepy.

Xeke: That's the idea! Now, back to the questions. Candace, buddygirl1004 asks you, "What's with your obsession with busting the boys?"

Candace: It's very simple. They always get away with it, and Mom never believes me!

Xeke: And Jeremy, do you realize you're dating a crazy psycho?

Jeremy: Yes, but that's why she's so adorable.

Candace: Awwwwwww!

Buford: Blech!

Xeke: This chick also asks Ferb this question: "What's your fascination with Vanessa?"

Ferb: Everything.

Xeke: Couldn't have said it better myself.

Ferb: What?

Xeke: Any-who...Suzy, why are you a crazy psycho?

Suzy: What the...what is this chick talking about?

Phineas: Unnngh...what happened?

Xeke: Yay! Now that Phineas has regained consciousness, we can ask him and Ferb this question: "What inspires you?"

Phineas: Well, sometimes it's television, other times, it's something we do to help people.

Ferb: And other times, it's based on something we see.

Major Monogram: Wow, so Agent P was right.

Phineas: Who?

Xeke: Major Monobrow, this user asks you, "Why animals?"

Major Monogram: We wanted an agency that used non-human creatures to collect our information, like the pigeons in WWII.

Xeke: I see.

MM: And, Monobrow, really?

Xeke: It's one straight line! It is a perfect nickname for you, too.

Doofenshmirtz: Told you!

MM: Put a sock in it. And how did you get in here? Your not in this episode!

Doofenshmirtz: I have ways...

All: 0.o

Xeke: Baljeet, why do you like math?

Baljeet: Finally! Well, I...

Xeke: Time's up!

Baljeet: Wait, what?

Xeke: buddygirl1004's final question is for Doofenshmirtz! Why do you want to take over the world?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, man! They always get it mixed up. I want to take over the Tri-State Area, not the whole world!

Xeke: Wow. Not even a little bit of want?

Doofenshmirtz: Nope.

Xeke: Okee dokee then. Last but not least, we have another Super Random Awesome Dare! This one is from Countdown to the End of Time.

Buford: Ahhhhhhh! Duck for cover! (Jumps under a table, only to realize no one else did it, too. He walks back out, embarrassed.)

Xeke: Okay then...Phineas, sing Super Happy Funtime!

Phineas: What? That's not even a song! I'd rather make out with a plush toy!

Isabella: Don't even get me started.

Xeke: Ummm, this is the end of the show, so...SING!

Phineas: Ummmm...Super Happy Funtime...ha ha ha...

Xeke: Ugh, never mind. That's our show, peeps! Remember to write your questions, dares, and sponsorship requests into your reviews!

All: Bye!

**You heard Xeke, REVIEW! And if you don't...MACHETE! Also, if your wondering if my name is Xeke Zajczeraj, it's not. Ta ta!**


	4. Chapter 4: Yo Mamma Fight!

**Hello! I am pretty excited about this chapter, because bad things happen! You'll see what I mean. READ!**

Note: All characters belong to their respective owners.  
This chapter rated T for safety.

Xeke: Hello. I am Xeke Zajczeraj. This is not a talk show. This...is Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show.

(SRAS theme plays)

Xeke: The reviews are few, but there are plenty of questions and dares!

Phineas: Well _this_ should be fun.

Xeke: Let's get started with our Super Random Awesome Sponsor!

Major Monogram: Do we always have to have advertisements? They do no good.

Xeke: We'll see about that. Anyways, today's sponsor is Rogue Platypus by flameblaster13. When a platypus goes rogue, and an evil doctor is willing to help, only one thing can happen: Explosions for no apparent reason. READ!

Doofenshmirtz: Where have I seen that before?

Xeke: Let's continue with Super Random Awesome Talk, starting with questions from flameblaster13. Who writes...

Baljeet: (Knocking down door) HELP ME!

Buford: (running after him) You're dead meat, Curry Boy!

Xeke: Okay, what the crap is going on?

Buford: He gave me curry with horse radish!

Baljeet: So? _You_ threw my bicycle over a cliff! Now we're even!

Buford: Even with yo momma!

All: Ooooooohhh...

Baljeet: Come again?

Buford: Did I stutter?

All: Ooooooohhh...

Baljeet: Are you insulting my mother?

Buford: Hey, it's not my fault she made you miss watching the Boring Learning Channel...by walking in front of the TV!

Baljeet: Well, it's not my fault your mother hit the ugly tree...and knocked it over!

Xeke: Ooooooohhh, yo momma fight!

(later)

Xeke: Begin!

Buford: Yo momma is so ugly, she has to sneak up on her mirror!

All: Oh! (Xeke gives Buford a point)

Baljeet: Your mother is so cross eyed, she opened the front door and saw the backyard!

All: Oh! (Xeke gives Baljeet a point)

Buford: Yo momma is so stupid, she sat on the TV and watched the couch!

All: Oh! (Xeke is about to mark, when he remembers the question.)

Xeke: Wait! We have to put this thing on hold and answer flameblaster13's questions!

Baljeet and Buford: Ah, man!

Xeke: Okay, his first question is for Perry. He asks, "How many days do you get off work?"

Perry: (Chatters)

Xeke: Wow, that many?

Perry: (Chatters again)

Xeke: Alright, flameblaster13's second question is for Carl.

Carl: Sorry, I'm busy taking a compatibility quiz.

Xeke: Here, I'll help. Hey, the first question is the one I was about to ask you! What is your favorite meal?

Carl: Well, in the summer, I can enjoy a shrimp scampi meal with lemon, and in the winter, a nice steak with mint and pinto beans is nice.

Xeke: Okay, all that won't fit into this box and frankly, I just can't spell it.

Carl: Fine! I'll go somewhere else.

Xeke: flameblaster13's third question is for Major Monogram.

MM: Thank you, young man.

Xeke: He asks, "Why is the OWCA always having budget cuts?

MM: Two words: Barack Obama.

Xeke: Derp. And his last question, for Doofenshmirtz is, "Did you have to serve as a lawn gnome on your birthday?"

Doofenshmirtz: Many a time, and it still haunts me to this very day.

Xeke: Yes! Doofenshmirtz is haunted! Anyways, we'll continue the episode with a Super Random Awesome Dare for Doofenshmirtz!

Doofenshmirtz: Awesome! (Like Sam does sometimes in iCarly)

Xeke: This one was sent from none other than the great ktag, master of shadows!

Phineas: Are you going to introduce him like that every time?

Xeke: Yes.

Phineas: Will you not do it?

Xeke: Sure. When pigs fly!

Phineas: Ferb make a note of that.

Xeke: Anyways, ktag dares our friend Doofy to jump off a cliff into shark infested water!

Doofenshmirtz: WHAT? That's crazy! I'll never do that!

Xeke: Do it, or we'll push you!

Doofenshmirtz: Fine! Where's the cliff?

Xeke: Right there, behind you.

(Doofenshmirtz turns and sees a giant, prop cliff.)

Doofenshmirtz: In retrospect, I probably should have recognized it.

(later)

Doofenshmirtz: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! (while falling towards the water)

(Splash!)

Doofenshmirtz: Help! I can't swim! I'm being eaten!

All: Ahhh!

(Please stand by - Shows Phineas impaling Isabella with his nose)

Xeke: Doofenshmirtz will be fine...he just...won't be for a while.

Phineas: (cough)Dead(cough)

Xeke: Our final round of questions comes from saruke101.

Buford: That show is awesome! I love it when they try to do the first obstacle and fail!

Xeke: Not Sasuke, Saruke, dumbnut!

Buford: Oh...

Xeke: saruke101's first question is for Baljeet.

Baljeet: Don't skip it this time!

Xeke: Whatever. Anyway, the question is, "Why don't you take martial arts and kick Buford's butt?"

Baljeet: Violence will only lead to more violence.

Buford: That's not what yo momma said when I was dancin' in her drawers last night!

All: Ooooooohhh...

Xeke: Anyway, saruke101's second question is for Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella. The question is, "What do you think of the Phineas/Ferb pairing?"

Ferb: No!

Isabella: Definitely not!

Phineas: What's a pairing?

Ferb and Isabella: 0.o

Xeke: Finally, a question for Perry!

Buford: Awww, man!

Xeke: Shut it! The question is, "Why do you sweat milk?"

Perry: (Chatters)

Xeke: Alrighty then. Well, that's the end of our show!

Buford and Baljeet: Wait!

Xeke: What?

Buford: I just want to say, I'm sorry I made fun of yo momma.

Baljeet: And I'm sorry I made fun of yours.

All: Ahhhhh! Buford and Baljeet being nice to each other!

Xeke: Fade to black! Fade to black!

**So, that's pretty much it. Be sure to put your dares, questions, and sponsorship requests in your reviews. Sienara!**


	5. Chapter 5: buddygirl1004 Plus More!

**I am finally back from my (way too long) absence! Therefore, you can expect new chapters for my stories now. Anyway, it's time for randomness!**** In fact, more randomness than ever before, because this is the longest chapter yet!**

Note: All characters belong to their respective owners.

This chapter rated T for safety.

Hello. I am Xeke Zajczeraj. This is not a talk show. This…is Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show!

(SRAS theme song plays)

Xeke: While the writer has been away, we've gotten lots of cool questions and _really_ cool dares!

All: Yay!

Xeke: But as usual, we start by honoring a cool story with sponsorship.

All: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!

Phineas: Lame!

Xeke: Today's Super Random Awesome Sponsor is "All Falls Down" by RandomClassic49. When a family fights, nothing is protected. It all…falls…down. **Read or suffer!**

All: 0.o

Xeke: And for the first time, we have _two_ sponsors!

Phineas: That's… actually not a bad thing.

Xeke: Our second Super Random Awesome Sponsor is the quad squad, buddygirl1004! Starring Morgan, Athena, Sophia, and Buddy, with guest appearances by Beckah!

Ferb: You realize that you're acting like they're celebrities, right?

Xeke: Yeah… Let's start today's show with the Super Random Awesome Dares. First one is from Queen of the Lost.

Major Monogram: It's _Land_ of the Lost, moron.

Xeke: I'm not _talking _about that, moron.

Doofenshmirtz: Then what _are_ you talking about?

Xeke: I told you already!

MM and Doofenshmirtz: No, you didn't!

Xeke: Doofenshmirtz, you have to join the O.W.C.A.

MM and Doofenshmirtz: _**What? **_

Xeke: You heard me.

MM: Fine. Doofenshmirtz, I hereby pronounce you an agent of the O.W.C.A.

Doofenshmirtz: Fine. I guess I can steal your secrets.

MM: And now you're fired!

Doofenshmirtz: Thank Glaux!

All except Xeke: 0.o

Doofenshmirtz: I really need to stop reading those owl books.

Xeke: Yes, yes you do.

Phineas: Hey, that's _my_ line!

Xeke: The next dares come from Mystic1234. First dare is for Isabella.

Isabella: Finally! Hopefully I get to kiss Phineas!

Phineas: What?

Isabella: I mean… I like pie!

Phineas: 0.o

Xeke: Isabella, you must have a bucket of snow dumped on you.

Isabella: $&%! I hate those dares!

Xeke: By the way, if you don't, I have Mystic's permission to drench you in slime!

Isabella (covered in snow): Sorry, I was covering myself in snow. You were saying?

All: 0.o

Xeke: Next dare is for Buford. Buford, you must arm wrestle a gorilla!

(chirping cricket)

Xeke: Where is Buford?

Baljeet: He is in Paris.

Xeke: _**What?**_

Baljeet: Tennessee.

Xeke: Oh. Wait, that's still not good! Who can do the dare?

Baljeet: Xeke is right. How will we ever find someone to wrestle the gorilla?

Xeke: I know _just_ the person!

(2 hours and 14 minutes later…)

Xeke: Well, Baljeet, it's official. Both of your arms are broken.

Baljeet: Oh, _really?_

Xeke: Yes.

Baljeet: 0.o

Xeke: Well, folks, it looks like Baljeet is going to be answering _his_ questions from the ER. Anyway, Mystic's next dare is for Phineas. Thank God, he's here.

Phineas: Oh, crud.

Xeke: Jump into a pool of freezing water, then a tub of flour, then a pool of green slime.

Phineas: Great stars almighty!

Xeke: And if you don't, I'll spray you with green slime!

Phineas: Well, considering there is slime in the dare, I won't do it.

Xeke: Fine. Hose him, boys!

(Hose falls from the sky, spraying slime all over Phineas.)

Phineas: Aw, man! It smells so bad! Are you sure this is slime?

Xeke: Uh, sure…

(Flashback to minutes earlier backstage. Phineas is absent…)

All except Xeke: Chug, chug, chug, chug…

(Xeke chugs his fifth bottle of seltzer. He finishes.)

All: Woohoo!

Ferb: That was awesome!

Doofenshmirtz: And five bottles, too!

Vanessa: Good going!

Baljeet: Your stomach must be bulletproof! Let me find out!

(Nails Xeke in the stomach. Hard.)

Xeke: Ouch! That… Aw, man. I'm feeling weird.

MM: Are you okay?

Xeke: I think I'm going to… (gags) Make way!

(Xeke runs off screen and pukes.)

Xeke: Aw, man! I threw up in the hose where the slime is supposed to be!

(end flashback)

Xeke: Let's just move on, shall we?

Phineas: Fine, but I'm changing clothes first.

Xeke: Not in front of us, you're not!

Phineas: 0.o

Xeke: Our next dares are from buddygirl1004! Their first dare is for…

(Candace and Jeremy walk in holding hands. Suzy is following close behind.)

Xeke: Perfect, now we can truly get the dare going!

Candace, Jeremy, and Suzy: What dare?

Xeke: Well, it's not necessarily a dare per se; it's more like Jeremy is forced to do this while Candace and Suzy watch.

Jeremy: What do you want me to do?

Xeke: Well, the first thing we do is tie you to a chair. (Jeremy is tied up as such.)

Jeremy: Okay…

Xeke: Next, we bring in this television and DVD player and hook them up.

Jeremy: Alright…

Xeke: And now… Bring in the quad squad!

(buddygirl1004 walks out. Morgan, Athena, Sophia, and Buddy walk out in unison. Sophia holds the DVD.)

Xeke: Thanks for the DVD, guys.

Buddy: Well, actually, I'm the only guy.

Morgan: Don't mind him. The fan-fiction world altered his personality.

Xeke: No problem. By the way, where's Beckah?

Athena: She's in London.

Xeke: _**What?**_

Athena: Kentucky.

Xeke: Oh. What for?

Sophia: Tonsillectomy.

Xeke: Ah, I see. Bye, buddygirl!

(All the quadruplets walk out of the room.)

Candace: What's on that DVD?

Suzy: Why is poor Jeremy tied to that chair?

Xeke: You'll see. Ha ha ha!

(The DVD is inserted.)

Xeke: Since you think Suzy is a precious angel, I think it's time to prove you wrong.

Suzy: No!

Candace: Yes!

(DVD shows Suzy torturing Candace.)

Xeke: What do you think of your little angel now?

Jeremy: I don't know what I just saw, but I need to get out of this netting!

Xeke: Not right now. I wanna see the next dare go down. It's for Ferb and Vanessa.

Vanessa: Finally! I get to join in on the fun!

Xeke: Oh, it'll be fun alright. At least, it will be for Ferb.

Ferb: I like where this is going.

Xeke: But first… Vanessa, do you love Ferb?

Vanessa: I guess as a friend. But nothing else.

Xeke: Wow, that's gonna have an effect on the dare.

Ferb: What is it?

Vanessa: Yeah, what are you going to make us do?

Xeke: You two must… _**Make out!**_

Vanessa: What?

Xeke: You may not like it, but you have to do it!

Vanessa: Well…

Xeke: By the way, if you don't… _**Machete! **_

(Ferb and Vanessa kiss for about ten seconds.)

Xeke: Wow… That was lame…

Vanessa: Oh, come on!

Xeke: That kiss had less passion than Tom Cruise licking a zebra's left butt cheek.

Vanessa: Oh, you want _passion_?

Xeke: Yeah, unless you want _fries with that shake_!

Vanessa: I'll show _you_ passion!

(Ferb and Vanessa start kissing. This time, they don't stop.)

Xeke: Hey, Phineas, slide that computer over here!

(Phineas does this. Xeke goes into video chat with Johnny.)

Xeke: Hey, is this Johnny?

Johnny: Yeah. Who is this?

Xeke: My name's Xeke. Is Vanessa your girlfriend?

Johnny: Yeah. Why?

Xeke: Check this out!

(Xeke shows Johnny what Ferb and Vanessa are doing. Johnny faints.)

Xeke: Ha, ha, ha! By the way, Vanessa, still not enough passion!

(Ferb and Vanessa go into the closet and shut the door.)

All except Xeke: 0.o

Xeke: Okay… While they do that, let's do our last dare. It comes from none other than ktag, Master of Shadows!

Phineas: Dude, really?

Xeke: Yes, really. S/he wants you to find out how long you can play Chubby Bunny with hot sauce!

All: Dang it!

Xeke: Not just any hot sauce, either. We're using some of Blair's 16 Million Reserve, the hottest of all food!

All: That kind of sucks.

Xeke: Let's begin! Phineas, you start.

Phineas: Okay, here goes nothing.

(1 minute and 15 seconds later…)

All: _**Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! Ow! Hot! Fire! **_

(A few hours later…)

Xeke: Wow that was some _hot_ sauce!

Doofenshmirtz: My tongue still burns!

Candace: I can't feel my lips!

Jeremy: Me neither!

Xeke: Don't think touching them together will work, 'cause it won't!

Candace: How would _you _know?

Isabella (in fetal position): Must… forget… Must… forget…

Candace and Jeremy: 0.o

Xeke: At long last, we begin our Super Random Awesome Talk!

Phineas: Thank goodness! I don't think I could take another dare!

Isabella: I don't think I want to do any dares again!

Xeke: Oh, come on! What we did wasn't _that_ bad!

(Isabella gives Xeke the "death stare".)

Xeke: Okay, it was, but the questions will rid you of that memory.

Isabella: It better!

Xeke: The first round of questions is from the buddygirl1004 team!

Phineas: I can't wait!

Xeke: Good! Because the first question is for Phineas!

Phineas: Bring it on!

Xeke: The quad squad writes, "do u no issabella is madly in love with u? or are u really that oblivious"

(The whole group except for Phineas gasps loudly.)

Phineas: Oh… my… God…

Isabella: Phineas, I can explain…

Phineas: What are you talking about? Do you see how many errors there are in that quote?

Isabella: Oh. Wait, what?

Xeke: Well, unfortunately, that answers _that _question. So, the next question is for Baljeet, who is still in the emergency room!

Baljeet: It's _your _fault!

Xeke: Whatever. How do you know buddygirl1004?

Baljeet: I read fan fiction a lot. Plus, the girls are _hot_.

Xeke: If you say so…

Baljeet: Hey, at least Isabella and I didn't…

Xeke: Okay! Next question! It's for Candace.

Candace: Alright.

Xeke: When you were in the future, did you find out who your husband was? Your kids were named Xavier, Amanda, and Fred.

Candace: No, but I have a good idea now…

(Candace looks at Jeremy, smiling.)

Jeremy: Please get me out of this chair!

Xeke: Now, I need Perry.

(Perry walks over to Xeke and chatters. Xeke pulls out a ray gun and shoots Perry.)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, no!

Phineas: Oh, no!

Baljeet: Oh, no!

MM: Oh, no!

(Kool-Aid Man busts through the wall.)

Kool-Aid Man: Oh, yeah!

All: 0.o

(Kool-Aid Man slowly walks out of the room.)

Perry: Wow. That was weirder than when Xeke and Isabella...

Phineas: Perry! You can talk!

Perry: Well, I guess I can. It must have been the ray gun.

Xeke: Thanks again, buddygirl! Now I can ask Perry your question: Do you like talking?

Perry: Of course, I do! I don't know anyone who doesn't. Except for maybe Ferb…

Xeke: Ferb! When are he and Vanessa going to come out of the closet?

(Ferb and Vanessa open the closet door and walk out.)

Vanessa: Hi, guys!

(A soldier on a horse comes out of the closet.)

Soldier: Trojan Man!

All: 0.o

Ferb: Yeah… You don't want to know.

Xeke: I think we already do.

Perry: Even _I _know, and I haven't met a female platypus yet, either.

Xeke: buddygirl1004's final question is for…

(Linda walks in.)

Linda: Where are those car keys?

Xeke: Linda!

Linda: Oh, hi, Xeke!

Xeke: Linda, why haven't you considered staying home secretly and watching what the boys are doing?

Candace: Yeah, Mom. Why?

Linda: That would be so rude. The boys should have fun in peace and with their friends. Adding me would be a little awkward.

Xeke: Yeah, I guess it would.

Candace: So much for _that_ idea.

Xeke: And now a question from RandomClassic49 for Isabella!

Isabella: Sure. What's the question?

Xeke: Mr. or Mrs. Classic asks you if there is a person you've just want to smack the $&% out of?

Isabella: Yeah.

Xeke: Really, who?

Isabella: Baljeet.

Baljeet: Hurtful! Literally, I'm still in pain!

Xeke: Why Baljeet?

Isabella: When we reverse-engineered that robot, Phineas and Ferb needed a couple at a table for an experiment. Baljeet charged at that table like a crazed bull.

Baljeet: I _still_ think it was fate!

Isabella: I was the only girl there, moron.

Baljeet: It still hurts!

Xeke: Okay, the last question is from Daisyfan9.

MM: Oh, she likes daisies?

Doofenshmirtz: No, you idiot! Daisy as in the Mario character! Right, Xeke?

Xeke: Heck, I don't know! Anyway the flower/Mario character fan asks, "Dear Phineas, Do you like Isabella?"

Phineas: Of course, I do. Who wouldn't?

Isabella: Oh, Phineas!

Phineas: I mean, she has so many friends that like her! Me, Baljeet, Buford, Ferb, Candace, and Irving. Especially Baljeet.

Baljeet: It was fate, I tell you! Fate!

Jeremy: It would be fate if someone would _get me out of this chair_!

Xeke: And now, before we go, here are some final words from the buddygirl team!

Morgan: Sorry, Doofenshmirtz, I meant the Tri-State Area, not the world. Dang, your lame, dude.

Doofenshmirtz: No, I'm not!

Xeke: You will when I cut your feet off!

Doofenshmirtz: 0.o

Xeke: Next up is Jeremy! The movie is almost done.

Jeremy: That's great! Do you know what would be really great?

Xeke: No. What?

Jeremy: If someone would let me out of this nut house!

Xeke: What? It's Doofenshmirtz that's the nut head!

Doofenshmirtz: That's it! It's time for evil!

Xeke: You couldn't intimidate me or anyone else! I'd like to see you try, though, so give it a shot!

Doofenshmirtz: Readers, Xeke and Isabella kissed.

Xeke and Isabella: No, we didn't!

Phineas: Guys, seriously. Do you think anybody's gonna care?

Ferb: Yeah, guys. I met the Trojan Man. _Nothing_ is gonna be more talked about.

Xeke: Fine, yes, we did kiss.

Isabella: But it was accidental.

Baljeet: (cough)Liars(cough)

(Buford walks in.)

Buford: What's up everybody! I'm back from Paris, Tennessee!

Xeke: Slime him, quickly!

(The hose comes down. He's totally slimed, dude.)

Buford: What was _that_ for?

Xeke: That's what you get for not doing the dare, moron!

Buford: What dare?

Xeke: Ask Baljeet. _He's _the one in the ER. Suzy, buddygirl1004 told you what to do.

Suzy: Hit it girls!

(Suzy, Candace, Vanessa, and the quad squad all sing "Busted." Xeke continues to talk.)

Xeke: Well, that does it for this episode of Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show! Be sure to send those questions, dares, and comments! And if you want to be sponsored, send your idea in! Until next time, I'm Xeke Zajczeraj! Bye!

(2 hours later…)

Jeremy: Hello? I'm still roped to the chair! Help! Someone! Anyone? I knew I should have taken Candace to that French restaurant!

**Well, there you have it, over 2,400 words of randomness. By the way, if you found that Trojan Man joke a little too mature, you must remember that this is a ****random**** show. Anything could happen. See you later (and hopefully later doesn't mean 6 $&%ing months)! **


	6. Chapter 6 Part One: Phineas gets a hint!

**Hello! It's about time for another chapter. The questions are weirder, the dares are harder, the sponsorships are greater in number, but the super random awesomeness is never shrinking! BTW, as a pre-show answer to MirrorMirrorMelody, look up Trojan man on the internet. Let's start!**

Note: All characters belong to their respective owners.

This chapter is rated T for language and violence.

Hello. I am Xeke Zajczeraj. This is not a talk show. This… is Phineas and Ferb Super Random Awesome Show.

(SRAS theme song plays)

Xeke: Thanks to you adoring fans, we have a wild episode planned tonight!

Phineas: And not just because there's a wild lion loose on set!

Xeke: Wait, what?

Ferb: You didn't notice the loud roaring and the light that fell down?

Isabella: You should really be more observant.

Xeke: Anyway…Our first Super Random Awesome Sponsor is "You Lie" by I have a life it's called PF. Meet Isabella. Meet Gabby. Learn how it went down. You shall read or _**die!**_

All: 0.o

Xeke: Our next sponsor is the Quad Squad, buddygirl1004! Read all their stories! Some are good, some are bad, but you won't know for sure unless you read them all!

Buford: But I don't wanna!

Xeke: Well… too bad!

Jeremy: At least you won't have to spend three days tied to a chair in a room with no air conditioning!

Xeke: Where did _that_ come from?

Jeremy: Like you don't know!

Xeke: Super Random Awesome Question time! Plus some other crap!

All: Meh…

Xeke: :(

All: I mean… woo-hoo!

Xeke: First up, buddygirl1004!

Phineas: Again? Don't you get tired of them?

Baljeet: Hey! You leave the hot girls alone!

Xeke: Yeah, what he said! Except for the hot part…

Baljeet: Come on, you know you think they're hot!

Doofenshmirtz: Put a sock in it.

Xeke: Speaking of which, Buddy asks why you find his sisters hot. Well?

Baljeet: Who _doesn't_?

All the guys: Me.

Baljeet: Ah, you're probably just saying that because you all have had girlfriends before.

Phineas and Xeke: I haven't.

Isabella: Don't worry, all that will change someday, Phineas.

Phineas: Thanks, Izzy.

Xeke: Wait, what about me?

Isabella: Yeah, you're screwed.

Xeke: We just kissed! We didn't do what Ferb and Vanessa did!

Isabella: 0.o

Xeke: Next question is for Phineas. They write: rly? Mst u corct evy1's grmr. Morgans lke u, it's gts anyng.

Phineas: What are they saying?

Xeke: They're telling you to stop correcting their grammar.

Phineas: Oh. Okay.

Xeke: They also write: since you are a dunderhead let us spell it out for you! Isabella likes likes you! Get it through your thick triangle skull!

Isabella: Ahhhh!

Phineas: Wow… She thinks of me like _that_?

Isabella: No! They're lying! I don't think of you like that!

Phineas: What are you talking about? I was asking why she thinks of me as a dunderhead! I'm not a dunderhead, _you are!_

Xeke: They were right! He _does_ have a thick skull!

Isabella: Whew!

Xeke: Next we have…

Doofenshmirtz: Are you kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me?

Xeke: What?

Doofenshmirtz: That kid is half retarded! He still doesn't get it!

Phineas: Get what?

Isabella: Nothing!

Doofenshmirtz: Nothing my ass!

Xeke: This is no place for language! This is kind of a kids' show!

Doofenshmirtz: Who gives a s***?

Xeke: Stop that! We're running out of censors!

Doofenshmirtz: Shove them up your crack! And as for you kid…

Phineas: What?

Doofenshmirtz: (screaming loudly) Isabella likes you! She wants to make out with you! Two plus two equals four! Fish swim in water! Do you get what I'm saying?

Isabella: I'm doomed…

Phineas: Yes. Two plus two equals four. I know that.

Doofenshmirtz: Aw, f***!

Xeke: Great! We're out of censors! Go get some more from the supply closet, or else!

Doofenshmirtz: Fu- I mean, fine!

Xeke: While that's going on, here's a math question for Baljeet!

Baljeet: Yay!

Xeke: Find x if 1/2x +1/2(1/2x + 1/2(1/2x +1/2(1/2x + ... = y.

Baljeet: That's easy! x=y=1!

All: 0.o

Xeke: Ooookay. Where's Perry?

Perry: Over here.

Xeke: Ahhh! Oh, wait, I forgot you could talk. By the way, are you mad about the ray gun thing?

Perry: No, but I am a little uncomfortable.

Xeke: How?

Perry: Well, for one thing, I can talk.

Xeke: Yeah, you can talk. Where's Major Monogram?

Monogram: Over here, Xeke.

Xeke: Oh, good, I thought you were gone. So, buddygirl1004 asks if they are on your watch list since they are considered terrorists in Florida, and may or may not have a science room.

MM: They are now…

Xeke: Good for you! More danger!

Baljeet: Cool, hot _and_ feisty!

MM: Put a sock in it.

Xeke: And of course there is more, but will set that aside for now and leave it for the end of the show.

Phineas: Great, I thought it would never end!

Doofenshmirtz: I'm back with more censors!

Xeke: Great! 'Cause next up is 2 headed dragonlover's Super Random Awesome Dare!

Phineas: Shouldn't that be after questions?

Xeke: It's my show, and I can do it however I want to.

Ferb: He's got a point.

Xeke: Phineas and Ferb, build a machine that turns things to stone!

Phineas: Um, okay.

(They do that. And eat cookies.)

Phineas: Wow that was easy.

Xeke: Yeah, it usually takes at least a montage.

Doofenshmirtz: Cool! A machine that turns everything to stone! Keepers!

Xeke: No, wait! Don't-

(Doofenshmirtz turns Perry, Isabella, Suzy, Linda, Irving, Albert, Suzy's Poodle, Pinky, Ferb, Johnny, Santa, Carl, Peter, MM, Agent E, Planty the Potted Plant, and Baljeet into stone.)

Doofenshmirtz: Cool!

Xeke: Well, I guess we can still do a dare from Mystic1234 for Phineas.

Phineas: I'm scared, now. The pharmacist and I are the only ones who aren't stone.

Xeke: Then you should have no problem with… kissing Izzy for 40 seconds!

Phineas: What?

Doofenshmirtz: It took you three seasons to find it out? That's just sad.

Phineas: This is crazy!

Xeke: She's made of stone, for crying out loud!

Phineas: I'm not making out with a rock!

Xeke: I'm pretty sure part of you has become rock!

Phineas: That's just sick!

Xeke: Do it!

Phineas: No!

Xeke: Alright then. I guess the only thing to do is… _**Machete!**_

Phineas: Alright, fine! I'll do it, just stop yelling.

Xeke: I can yell if I want to. It's my show!

Phineas: Well, here goes…

**To be continued…**


End file.
